Carnitas Nachos at Alberto's - Santa Ana

I must sound like a broken record sometimes: when you order nachos at Alberto's or any of the -ertos, you must never, ever ask for the full order. Get, instead, the half order. Here's the broken record part: the only difference between the full order and the half order is the price; you get the same amount no matter what you pay.

There.

Now that we've covered that part for about the fifteenth time here on this blog, let me tell you what else you should do when ordering the nachos: go beyond the carne asada. As I've mentioned before, you can have chicken. Yes, the same shredded-steeped-in-red-sauce bird they stuff into the enchiladas is a good alternative to those who want to kid themselves that they're eating healthy.

There is no such thing as a healthy nacho, by the way, just as there is no such thing as polite Internet discourse, cheap Rolex watches, or a likeable Kardashian.

Since you're ordering nachos already, why not go whole hog, literally? Ask for the carnitas nachos. It isn't as sopping wet as the chicken, not chewy like the carne asada, and occasionally you get those crisp-edged parts that's sizzled too long on the griddle. It is, by far, my favorite species of nachos at Alberto's (which isn't even my favorite of these kinds of joints...just the most convenient).

Just look at that picture, will ya? Whenever the object inside a styrofoam container of that size takes the shape of said container--meat, cheese in one melting solid mass, suffused with bits of onion, tomato, avocado and sour cream--you know you're in for it. This is a meal best eaten late at night when no one's judging, or when everyone's too drunk to care.

If you do decide to order it, you know what to do. Or do I have to tell you again?

Alberto's
1425 E Edinger Ave
Santa Ana, CA 92705
(714) 834-9680

THIS WEEK ON OC WEEKLY:
Peking Gourmet - Garden Grove